Hineni

Hineni

February 3rd, 2022:

Today, the Lord told me it was time to get re-baptized! 

Backstory:

I got baptized the first time at 12 years old and truly believe my declaration was genuine. I did declare that I wanted to follow the Lord for the rest of my life then, just like I want to now. 

So why would you get re-baptized I bet you are wondering? 

Well, technically the story starts back when the Lord got a hold of my heart and called me to go on the World Race, but for time’s sake we will pick the story up at the end of January.

 It had been a week since my body had begun being in a lot more pain than normal. I went to ask one of the base staff members if they had a chiropractor recommendation as I was desperate for any pain relief. She gave me a local recommendation, but also prayed over me. As she was praying over me I could tangibly feel some of the muscles in my neck and back beginning to release for the first time in a week. 

 I was overcome by emotion and shared with her how I had been feeling stagnant and stuck in this mindset of being solely a servant to God. I was constantly asking him what he needed from me instead of walking in deep intimacy with him like I desired. She shared with me that I needed to repent of living in religion. I did as she said, but to be honest did not quite understand it at the time. 

As the week went on, I found myself really battling the root of fear in my life as well as, processing what the difference between religion and a relationship with Christ was. I noticed that my eyes had been opened to the ways I actually was living in religion and I no longer desired that. I had actually begun to taste even deeper intimacy with the Father and he knew was calling me deeper and out of fear and the laws of religion that had confined me for so long. 

Towards the end of the week I saw a tangible sign of all the work the Lord had been doing in my heart, not only this week but over the whole race. It was then that I knew my heart had changed. 

Fear, shame, panic had lost its hold on me!

February 3rd, 2022:

This morning rolls around and I wake up having no idea I am getting baptized today. We have our normal Thursday schedule consisting of worship and a teaching in the morning. Following the teaching, we were informed that we would have an opportunity to get baptized.

As soon as I heard this, I started thinking about whether I was supposed to do it or not. 

As we took communion, the Lord told me it was time for me to get baptized again! I asked Amelia, one of my teammates, to baptize me. 

I knew that this baptism was my hineni to the Lord. My declaration that I was walking out of the rules that confined me in religion and into the freedom and intimacy of a relationship with the Father. That I was declaring freedom from fear and that no matter where the Lord called me or how hard it would be that I would be obedient for the rest of my days. The old had gone and the new had come and with that I came out of the water and into new life. 

Hineni: proclaiming my yes unto the Lord

Photo Credit: Grace Harang Photography