Happy Thursday Friend!
Isn’t it crazy how much love Christ gives to complete strangers throughout the entire bible? The depth of this hit me today as I laid on my bed resting for a few minutes. I had finished my classes for the day and was texting with one of my close friends. In this conversation, I began to find myself apologizing for caring about her and wanting the best for her because I was internalizing the what ifs. What if she doesn’t care about me? What if she finds me annoying? What if, what if what if. I eventually sat up and grabbed my brown worn journal from the side of my bed and flipped the pages to a blank page added the date and started like I always do.
Dear God,
I started to write the things that came to mind. I began talking to him about how I feel self-conscious and about how he made me with an emotional side and that that makes me who I am. I called out the lie that was spiraling in my head and making me apologize for caring. In that moment, God met me right where I was and it clicked. A clarity came to me like I hadn’t had before. Caring is the heart of Jesus. Why am I apologizing for living out the heart of God I immediately thought? My mind quickly became so flooded with Bible stories of when Jesus cared for people that I set my journal to the side and opened up my Bible. First to Matthew 19:14 where Jesus is talking to the disciples about allowing the children to come to Jesus and not stopping them from coming to him. I love how Jesus says that the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them. We are called to have childlike faith and seek Christ in that regard and I love how this verse ties back to that. Although, it also shows that he cares for people no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to anyone else. Jesus stopped and loved on those children.
Then, my mind jumped to the passage in Luke 19 where Jesus calls Zacchaeus down from the tree and tells him he is coming to his house. Wow, hold on Jesus cared about the tax collector who stole from people enough to notice him and talk to him? Jesus stopped what he was doing for a sinful broken man and cared about him right where he was without shame in doing so!
Finally, I was drawn to the passage Matthew once again for the parable of the lost lamb. I am humbled and reminded of the Heart of God in this moment as he chases down that one lost lamb. Even when he has the 99 he still loved and cared so incredibly much for that one lamb that he stopped and looked for it.
As all of this filtered through my mind, I began to realize I am choosing to live out the heart of Christ. I have prayed over and over the prayer of “Lord, help me to love like you love and understand what Christ like love is” and even though I hadn’t realized it until today, he had answered that prayer. He has and continues to show me more about what Christ’s love is and how to love like him. So why am I apologizing for that? Christ un-apologetically loved others and I want to too.
Hey! Thanks for checking out my blog post! Hope you walk away encouraged. If you struggle with lies and what ifs you are not alone! I would love to hear your feedback in the comments and as always, feel free to reach out 208-866-2309!
